i find it amusing, thinking about all the stuff i used to say
and the stuff i used to do when i was little
i remember so many things i asked, and said, and did.. that now, seem soo silly.
i remember doing stupid things, like standing outside with my brothers and picking those little mandarin things off the next door neighbours tree and throwing them at cars. it was all fun and games until one car stopped, and a scary man got out of the car to yell at us.
lucky for me, my bedroom was right next to the front door.. i made an easy escape.. my brothers felt the wrath from that old man.. and then from my mother
the innocent questions..
"dad how do you just KNOW the way to grandmas house, dont you forget?"
the stuff you thought was sooo relevant to the world and everyone had to know but really it wasnt that important
"mum, today mrs. oldfield admitted she had a sense of humour."
(like anyone cares rebecca)
and the silly things you said, that came out totally wrong but you just couldnt fix it..
"i eat the jam off the pudding first and leave the best for last, because the jam part is gross"
(i know that doesnt seem like a big deal but to me, after i said it to my brothers and heard my mum in the next room say OH.. REBECCA, THATS NOT VERY NICE... i felt horrible and guilty)
and then, the stuff... you wish, just WISH you didnt say, and even though you were only in grade four when you said it, you still wish all the time you could rewind time and not say anything at all.
like when my parents told us they were splitting up.
i remember every single moment. my brothers and i had stuck pillows up our pyjamas and were pretending to be the tellytubbies. then my parents said they had to talk to us, and we all sat on their bed in their bedroom..
i remember after they told me, i said the fucking dumbest things. i hate myself even tho i was only a kid.. i didnt cry at all, but brendan did because he wanted dad to come with us. i remember saying "maybe brendan could stay here with dad, because he wants to stay with him"
i dont think, at the time i really understood what was going on.
i just got excited, like a fucking stupid kid, and begged my mum to go show us the 'new house'.
for some stupid reason, i can still see my dads face... he looked completely crushed and he just looked down at the ground, as i sat there, excited, asking my mum when we were going to move house, and asking if we could go see it right that second.
it was even worse, when i got back, and asked my dad, if he had any boxes so i could start packing my books from my desk..
i was only in grade 4 and i didnt know any better, but the fact that i can remember every detail of that night makes me cringe. i feel horrible and i regret it.. i just wish i hadnt acted.. like.. such a child..
ahh life is funny that way.
xxxx
we've talked about life,
we've talked about love,
it gets to the point,
where the words ain't enough,
there isn't a reason why
this should be wrong,
open your heart and i'll play you a song.
and the stuff i used to do when i was little
i remember so many things i asked, and said, and did.. that now, seem soo silly.
i remember doing stupid things, like standing outside with my brothers and picking those little mandarin things off the next door neighbours tree and throwing them at cars. it was all fun and games until one car stopped, and a scary man got out of the car to yell at us.
lucky for me, my bedroom was right next to the front door.. i made an easy escape.. my brothers felt the wrath from that old man.. and then from my mother
the innocent questions..
"dad how do you just KNOW the way to grandmas house, dont you forget?"
the stuff you thought was sooo relevant to the world and everyone had to know but really it wasnt that important
"mum, today mrs. oldfield admitted she had a sense of humour."
(like anyone cares rebecca)
and the silly things you said, that came out totally wrong but you just couldnt fix it..
"i eat the jam off the pudding first and leave the best for last, because the jam part is gross"
(i know that doesnt seem like a big deal but to me, after i said it to my brothers and heard my mum in the next room say OH.. REBECCA, THATS NOT VERY NICE... i felt horrible and guilty)
and then, the stuff... you wish, just WISH you didnt say, and even though you were only in grade four when you said it, you still wish all the time you could rewind time and not say anything at all.
like when my parents told us they were splitting up.
i remember every single moment. my brothers and i had stuck pillows up our pyjamas and were pretending to be the tellytubbies. then my parents said they had to talk to us, and we all sat on their bed in their bedroom..
i remember after they told me, i said the fucking dumbest things. i hate myself even tho i was only a kid.. i didnt cry at all, but brendan did because he wanted dad to come with us. i remember saying "maybe brendan could stay here with dad, because he wants to stay with him"
i dont think, at the time i really understood what was going on.
i just got excited, like a fucking stupid kid, and begged my mum to go show us the 'new house'.
for some stupid reason, i can still see my dads face... he looked completely crushed and he just looked down at the ground, as i sat there, excited, asking my mum when we were going to move house, and asking if we could go see it right that second.
it was even worse, when i got back, and asked my dad, if he had any boxes so i could start packing my books from my desk..
i was only in grade 4 and i didnt know any better, but the fact that i can remember every detail of that night makes me cringe. i feel horrible and i regret it.. i just wish i hadnt acted.. like.. such a child..
ahh life is funny that way.
xxxx
we've talked about life,
we've talked about love,
it gets to the point,
where the words ain't enough,
there isn't a reason why
this should be wrong,
open your heart and i'll play you a song.
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